StinkySQL - Software is hard

Soft Issues - everyone's got 'em

2011-03-06T08:47:00.000-08:00

Things humans are good at:

So I'm playing with Microsoft's Visual Studio 2010 and the entity framework. One of the nifty new features I noticed when making a new "ADO .NET Entity Data Model" was the option to "Pluralize or singularize generated object names". The created items then just make more sense and it is a welcome addition.

Never mind the fact that my database table "Octopi" did not translate to "Octopus" as we would all expect. That is an edge case for sure and I don't really use Octopi that much. My issue is how it took my table named "Movies" and ended up with the singular model name "Movy". You could argue that the spelling is kinda cute, but you couldn't argue it is correct.

I'm just saying ...

You couldn't handle the text file

2010-12-14T21:11:00.000-08:00

OK - so the deal is to figure out why a simple 2300 line SQL query that took 1:08 to run in the SQLServer Management tool during testing, is running for over an hour on another site and doesn't seem to be any where near completion. They can see it running, but nothing is changing in the database. Testing was on a copy of the same database. Two other running remote databases that are smaller are also not complete and running forever.

Guess?

Turns out PRINT statements can be evil if you use enough of them. The update SQL was outputing some good-old-fashioned debugging information using PRINT "something" generously. These were withing a cursor, that was then in a loop that ran another loop - each of these with their own generous set of debugging data for the world to review upon completion.

While reviewing the output, I noticed that there were quite a few of them. In management studio, you can see the number of lines. In this case, it was over five million. Lines. Figure each line had 20-30 characters on it. This wasn't an issue in the GUI, but the SMO used had to marshall all that data somewhere. Takes some time. If you run it remote across the country, well, that's a long drive.

We killed the job, remoted locally and ran it in th GUI on the target server. Done in 1:10. Go figure.

Further testing showed that
a) even the GUI couldn't actually save the output results it showed. It would get an exception error.
b) SMO would probably eventually finish some day on its own - but no one in testing wanted to wait to see and killed it after two hours
c) Taking the print statements out allowed the SMO to finish in 1:20

Couldn't find any Microsoft reference on a MAX text results size ...

It gets easier with the title ...

2010-11-11T23:39:00.000-08:00

The SENIOR DB developer removing duplicates swore that this was going to be much faster:

DELETE #someLocalTempTable
WHERE     CONVERT(VARCHAR(20),SomePKIDEN_Id)
    + NamesStringColumn
    + CONVERT(VARCHAR(20),SomeFKIDEN_Id)
    + CONVERT(VARCHAR(20),SomeOtherFKIDEN_ID)
   IN (
    SELECT CONVERT(VARCHAR(20),SomePKIDEN_Id)
    + NamesStringColumn
    + CONVERT(VARCHAR(20),SomeFKIDEN_Id)
    + CONVERT(VARCHAR(20),SomeOtherFKIDEN_ID)
    FROM ##AGlobalTempTable
    )

AS OPPOSED TO THIS:

DELETE t
FROM #someLocalTempTable     t (NOLOCK)
JOIN ##AGlobalTempTable     s (NOLOCK)
ON t.SomePKIDEN_Id         = s.SomePKIDEN_Id
    AND t.NamedStringColumn = s.NamedStringColumn
    AND t.SomeFKIDEN_Id     = s.SomeFKIDEN_Id
    AND t.SomeOtherFKIDEN_ID= s.SomeOtherFKIDEN_ID

Fast correlated sub-queries. Nice concept.

I swear I don't make this up ...

2010-03-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

This is the latest software configuration option. It has a yes/no setting.

AllowBadAddressOnValidation

LOL

Bugs that make money

2009-10-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

Here is a find from "P", a potential bug had the database fields been used as intended. Its a big change in reporting that QA has never seen so you know it is in some very obscure code path. Something to be said for code review!

I'm looking at a stored procedure that's reporting $$ for a Revenue report by multiplying Rate * Total, instead of Rate * Quantity (which is the same as just Total).

So what we are looking at is the potential of ordering 50 $1 gift cards, but reporting $2500 for the entry. Just the kind of thing to get you over that bumpy quarter. ;)

No we won't learn

2009-09-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

Not more than a couple days of dealing with an obscure OSQL parsing bug (see link) that we should have known about, we QA-catch another that we already knew about.

If you fully qualify a table in another database and give it an alias, OSQL command parsing will not use the alias. That is you cannot

SELECT something FROM foobarDB.dbo.footable AS otable WHERE otable.someColumn IS NULL

The "otable.xxx" will cause an error as it cannot find that alias.
2005 et.al. seem to be fine.

Will we ever learn?

2009-08-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

A while back I posted about a Microsoft bug in 2000 server installations. Caused a production error again, then this was followed by another (SELECT 1 FROM SYS.SYSINDEXES) the next day.

Turns out it is related to the OSQL/ISQLW/ISQL installed and not the server. You can run this same script from a machine with the 2005 tools installed and point to the 2000 server and there is no error. As we deploy using processes that run the file via an isql.exe -I command line, it is a big deal.

Point is then, when we are testing for compatibility of our scripts, we can't run it from the 2005 management studio. We will get a false positive. We have to run it through the local version of the tools!

ERROR 1
PRINT 'The error is in parsing the GO incorrectly'
/*
This is a comment
GO
*/

ERROR 2
--The error here is the prefix of the SYS. that will not parse correctly
SELECT * FROM SYS.SYSINDEXES

Summary of Summer

2009-08-01T05:58:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine, a life-long resident of Los Angeles California, moved Minneapolis Minnesota and I was giving him some perspective on the seasons where I grew up. Discovered something myself in doing so.

"The thing I grew up with and remember the strongest about the seasons was that when it was the middle of Summer you could hardly wait for winter, and when it was the middle of Winter, you could hardly wait for Summer. Seasons all have their good and bad points, you just have to learn to take advantage of them when they are there. The biggest thing I miss is that change. I have been living in a 22 year long Summer now and its more than a bit annoying. I miss the beauty of the trees in the Fall, fresh fallen snow and the quiet it brings in the Winter, the smell of mud in the spring after the first good thaw. Hmmm, can't think of anything nice about Summer. Oh well."

Just listen to me fool

2009-07-30T11:21:00.001-07:00

You cannot have a valid process until you have a process that you manage. That means making sure it happens and listening for changes that are needed and adapting to them.

It could be a rumor ...

2009-05-28T22:26:00.001-07:00

My favorite programmer asks: Which genius put this into the common library?

return bool.Parse("true");

instead of

return true;

I don't care where you come from, that's funny!

Open Letter to all Credit facilities

2009-05-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

I find your security challenge questions and requirements an invasion of my privacy. You don't need to know anything about me in that detail. As an industry with everyone asking this kind of information, I am being forced to expose MORE data about myself then ever before and I find that MOST offensive.

Find another way or foist your draconian rules on those who have been lax enough to be victimized by fraud - not generate data for future attacks for all.

SS

I'm all a-twitter

2009-05-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

One of our loggin file tables can only display 50 characters, so when someone logged the message:

"A copy group can't be set to verified. Please rotate the spot before verifying."

The users sees

"A copy group can't be set to verified. Please rot"

Bad Table!

2009-04-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

Someone knowing that I do SQL sent me this ...

Source

Counter Rant on R&B

2009-04-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

The Ruby Yacht of Omar Khayyam can be found in Moosylvania, on the waters of Veronica Lake, near the Isle of Lucy, not far from Whynchataka Peak. One can also visit Bullwinkle’s alma mater Wossamotta U. or Rocket J. Squirrel’s alma mater, The Cedar Yorpantz Flying School. R&B was my favorite cartoon when I was little, then it disappeared for about a decade or so, then some network started rerunning it, and the reruns were even funnier because I had collected enough information during that decade to understand all (or most) of the jokes that flew right over my head when I was little.

The whole thing is so littered with cultural, historical, and cold war references that they should probably put out a set of DVD’s with a footnote option that allow you to turn on explanatory text at the bottom of the screen, like footnotes in other classic literature such as I was forced to read in high school and college. I wouldn’t need the footnotes for R&B but a lot of people would, especially younger or dumber ones.

Regarding the ‘Title or: Subtitle’ format, I’m not sure if it was ever a common practice before Bullwinkle. The other well known example is the complete title ‘Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb’. R&B came out in 1959 and Dr. S was released in 1964. When I lived in Menomonie and they were talking about starting up the draft again, my roommates and I and a ‘Hell no We Won’t Go – or – I Always Wanted to See Canada’ party. We even made and displayed a title sign at the party, magic marker gloriously emblazoned on tan cardboard. They liked R&B too.

On Rocky and Bullwinkle

2009-04-08T03:24:00.000-07:00

I have to explain a lot more references in conversations these days. At first it was funny, now its disturbing. I found myself trying to explain Mr. Peabody just two weeks ago. There are no current cultural references to engage this level of humor with so the attempt falls flat. Now it has to be simple, abrupt and fit in a five second sound-byte to be valid. Everyone knows Gilligan though, that's safe. I pick Maryann by the way - always have. Don't know anyone who picks Ginger so why even ask. Really.

The wife sat down with the kids every night for several weeks and they went through the entire Monty Python Collection. All of it. They then did the same with the entire original Star Trek series and have just finished all the movies of the same genres. We feel strongly that this will give then a good religious, political and moral grounding in life. I probably should get the original R&B also so we have someone to talk to about it when we are in the old folks home.

Maybe Faulty Towers also, and some Bob Newhart. Yeah. That would cover it.

Red Velvet Cake - au natural

2009-03-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

A new desert store opened up in the neighborhood and the best they had was a red velvet cupcake. Then the email thread started about what makes it red. Turns out that before Dutch processed cocoa became widely available the reaction of acidic vinegar with the butter milk would tend to turn the cocoa a reddish color. Most people now use food coloring or beets. The challenge then was to make it without coloration and see what you get.
file:///C:/Users/Public/Pictures/Blackberry/
Turns out is is a reddish brown in the end - but not crazy blood red like you see in the pictures surfing for this one. Takes under two hours including the trip to the store. I recommend starting the icing early so that it's first step can cool while you work, and do the cupcakes 'cause they're just the right size.

RED VELVET BATTER
3 or 4 tlbs unsweetened cocoa powder
1 or 2 ounces red food coloring (left this out - man that is a LOT OF COLOR!!!)
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp salt (sea salt preferred)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup oil (I used sesame)
2 cups powdered sugar
2 eggs (large)
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted (I did not sift, I am lazy. Used 2cups and stopped when it looked a PDGC or pretty darned good consistency)
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp white vinegar

Grease two 9 inch round pans (I made 21 paper cupcakes)
preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Make a paste of cocoa and food coloring (I just looked at the cocoa and thought RED)
set aside

Combine the buttermilk, salt and 1 teaspoon vanilla
In a large bowl, cream together the oil and 2 cups sugar until light and fluffy (by hand!)
Beat in the eggs one at a time. then stir in the cocoa mixture
Beat in the buttermilk mixture alternately with the flour, mixing just until incorporated. (you'll be tired if you do this by hand and won't over mix)
Stir together baking soda and vinegar (separate from anything else because its like those volcano experiments you do with your kids) then gently fold into the cake batter
Pour the batter into prepared pans (cupcake tins for us, don't fill over 3/4 or 7/8 of the cupcake papers as there is about 40% rise)
Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes (cupcakes you better check at 15 - mine tool 18 and I know our oven is old and slow) or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean
Allow to cool completely before frosting (cause it would just melt all over!)
Refrigerate until ready to serve (we ate ours in the first 10 minutes)

STANDARD ICING
1 cup milk
5 tbls all-purpose flour
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup butter
1 tsp vanilla extract

In a saucepan, combine the milk and 5 tbls flour (that I did not use in the batter above cause I didn't really measure)
cook over low hear, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens (it will flip over suddenly then you will need to take it off the heat and keep stirring until the pan your using cools - that can still burn it)
Set aside to cool completely (refrigerators work well for this)
Cream together butter, 1 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla until light and fluffy (or your arms fall off)
stir in the cooled milk and flour mixture, beating until icing reaches spreading consistency (which doesn't take long)

I don't have the original source recipe location. If you recognize it let me know and I will cite it appropriately.

My favorite ranter

2009-03-26T21:26:00.000-07:00

My friend KB who-should-have-everything-he-ever-says-published-but-is-never-published says:

Well I remember a night, all those years ago, down at ‘Bachelors 3’ when we were sitting around as usual and I predicted the impending extinction of the guitar as the dominant instrument in popular rock music. Not an unreasonable prediction given the popularity of the euro-synth pop, synth laden dance pop, and a general adoption of synthesizers as instruments rather than the 70’s use of synthesizers as, well, whatever Keith Emerson and Rick Wakeman were doing with them. Well, I was wrong. Just about everybody in the music business worth listening to now, new and old, still uses guitars.

On the same night, or another night just like it, I didn’t make a second prediction. But I was talking about investments, mutual funds, the financial world in general with (or at) Greg. While doing so, I was waving my arms around and being generally more animated than should be necessary while talking about such matters. Now, everyone does that.

That's not real food you're eating

2009-03-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

Got a bug that we don't make a log entry for a module in one case. Turns out they are reading the text of the log to determine how to make calculations for one of their reports.

Who bases $ calculations on log entries? It's not real data. I think Joe Celko would have a good rant over that.

The reasoning was that the comparison between created date and updated date was unreliable. Instead of a trigger band-aid which would have left their code the same after the reliability issue was resolved, this solution was devised.

Two days and many man-hours of research later we found that the reason they had no log was that someone updated the database through an Ad-Hoc SQL query. The log is generated through the GUI changes.

Exactly how did you test that?

2009-03-06T12:00:00.001-08:00

The comment found in the code of an old stored procedure states the following:

--Using dynamic SQL (faster than static SQL for large tables)

To add to the confusion, the procedure neither had dynamic SQL nor returned more than one record.

Wonky and still logically incorrect

2009-02-27T15:26:00.000-08:00

This is another result from the school of cut-and-paste polymorphism. The original IF statement checked for two items in an OR condition, explaining the apparent redundancy in the second IF - but not why anyone would check @@error twice and expect the same value...

IF (@@error <> 0)

BEGIN

IF @@error <> 0

BEGIN

Set @intResultCode = @@error

Set @chvResultText = 'Error when registering the Station/Date. ' +

(SELECT description from master..sysmessages where error = @intResultCode and msglangid = 1033)

END
END

Because @@ERROR is cleared and reset on each statement executed, check it immediately following the statement being verified, or save it to a local variable that can be checked later. Source: MSDN

Mushroom velouté with buttermilk 'blini'

2009-01-30T12:48:00.000-08:00

Click on the title for the original LA TIMES publication of this. Then go and make it - if you don't you're a wimp.

Mushroom velouté with buttermilk 'blini'

Total time: 2 hours, 15 minutes

Servings: 8

Note: Crème fraîche is available at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, Bristol Farms, Gelson's and most well-stocked markets.

Buttermilk "blini"

1/2 cup flour

3/4 teaspoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon baking soda

6 tablespoons buttermilk

1 egg, lightly beaten, divided

1 tablespoon melted butter

Oil for the griddle

1. Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and baking soda in a medium bowl. Combine the buttermilk, 2 tablespoons beaten egg and the butter in a small bowl. (Set aside the remaining egg for use in the soup.) Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients; add the liquid ingredients. Stir just until blended.

2. Heat a griddle or skillet over medium heat with just enough oil to coat the bottom of the pan. Spoon 1 teaspoon of batter onto the griddle or skillet for each "blini." Cook 30 seconds to 1 minute on each side until both sides are dark golden brown. Repeat until all the batter is used, adding oil to the pan as necessary. Makes about 30 "blini." Reserve in a warm place until ready to use.

Soup and assembly

4 tablespoons butter, divided

1 cup diced leeks

1/2 cup diced celery

1 teaspoon minced garlic

1 pound cremini mushrooms, trimmed and sliced

1/2 pound oyster mushrooms, trimmed and sliced

6 cups chicken broth

1 small bay leaf

1 (2-inch) sprig fresh rosemary

1 tablespoon flour

1/4 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons beaten egg (reserved from blini recipe above)

Salt

White pepper

Scant 2 tablepoons crème fraîche

1 teaspoon thinly sliced chives

8 sprigs parsley

1. Melt 3 tablespoons of the butter in a large sauce pot over low heat. Add the leeks and celery and sauté about 5 minutes, stirring often, until tender. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute, or until the garlic is fragrant.

2. Add the mushrooms and sauté until all the vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes.

3. Add the chicken broth, bay leaf and rosemary and bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer, loosely covered, for 45 minutes. Remove bay leaf and rosemary.

Why we need code reviews

2009-01-19T15:58:00.000-08:00

The ever diligent programmer P noted this bit of code today:

throw(new ArgumentException(errorMessage, "It is a very twisted intersection!"));

I would hate to be the person reading through the error logs a year from now ...

Simplify Simplify Simplify

2008-12-18T14:23:00.000-08:00

Here is the code as found ::

private string FormatTime(object DateTimeValue)
{
string result = " ";
if (DateTimeValue != null)
{
DateTime dt = DateTime.Parse(DateTimeValue.ToString());
if (dt.Hour < 10)
result = FILLER_NUMBER + dt.Hour.ToString() + ":";
else
result = dt.Hour.ToString() + ":";

if (dt.Minute < 10)
result += (FILLER_NUMBER + dt.Minute.ToString() + ":");
else
result += (dt.Minute.ToString() + ":");

if (dt.Second < 10)
result += (FILLER_NUMBER + dt.Second.ToString());
else
result += dt.Second.ToString();
}

return result;
}

Here is the refactored version::

return DateTime.Parse(DateTimeValue.ToString()).ToString("HH:mm:ss");

The wheels of the object go round and round

2008-12-12T09:58:00.000-08:00

Notice that if dsSTData were null you will allocate it, but not use it to look up the ThingyMin :)

public int ThingyMin
{
get
{
int _ThingyMin = 0;
if (dsSTData == null)
{
this.dsSTData = ONAME.ProdName.Common.Business.CONAMESystemDataList.STs;
}
else
{
foreach (System.Data.DataRow row in sSTData.Tables[this.DEFAULT_TABLE].Rows)
{
if (Convert.ToInt32(row[0]) == this._STID)
{
_ThingyMin = int.Parse(row[OllCommon.COL_THINGY_MIN].ToString());
break;
}
}
}
return _ThingyMin;
}
}

How to ruin a set of data

2008-12-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

From my bud. Not strictly SQL but close enough. He would like to know:

I'm not asking a lot. I just would rather see

"if (this.Order.IsPacked)"

instead of

"if (
this._DataSet.Tables[OrderCommon.TBL_ORDER].Rows[OrderCommon.DEFAULT_ROW][OrderCommon.COL_IS_PACKED] == DBConst.DBNull)"

Built In Bugs :: VarChar

2008-11-22T08:31:00.000-08:00

Alexander Kuznetsov pointed this one out on his blog. He goes on to a longer explanation and how to test for the issue in general (see link). SS

In Transact SQL you can assign a 10-character value to a VARCHAR(5) variable, as follows:
DECLARE @c VARCHAR(5); SET @c='1234567890'; PRINT @c

12345

The value will be silently truncated without raising an error. Because of this behavior it may be very easy to make mistakes.

Please use comments ...

2008-11-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

Many management types continually rant about leaving comments in the code so that the next person will be able to figure out what is going on. Sometimes it just proves something else ...

'* Comments: IMPORTANT: The global constants are being temporarily prefaced with "" until
'* all the reports can be integrated with calls to the delegate methods. Afterwards,
'* a global search/replace of "" with "" should rename the constants to coding
'* standards compliancy.

This is going to hurt a little

2008-09-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

Imaging a 5100 line stored procedure that is doing a conversion of some data. After hundreds of site updates, you get called in to find a wee little bug that seems to have no consistent behavior but it is definitely in the conversion. Then some where in that 5100 lines of code you find these snippets - several hundreds of lines apart but interacting just as viciously:

CREATE TABLE #Duplicates
(
RecID INT IDENTITY (1,1)
,i_id INT
, and other things
)

..eventually some insert code fills this temp table. Later we find this new table:

CREATE TABLE #Itemslist
(
RecID INT IDENTITY(1,1)
,INo INT
, and other things
)

...which also gets properly loaded. Eventually final results are loaded into yet another temporary table. I will spare you the details and just point out the join here;

SELECT some stuff
FROM #Itemslist il
JOIN #Duplicates d ON il.RecID = d.RecID
JOIN etcetera

Fortunately the duplicate table was very small which is the only thing that contained the error that propagated from this.

Where else does one equal zero?

2008-09-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

From more of the old code from Hyberia: We figure that this is the lazy man's (person's) method to making insert tables without all that messy typing.

SELECT rlk.*, rlk.i_id as i_id2 --CREATE #RSLAG table
INTO #RSLAG --note.. the i_id2 column was added to
FROM RSLAG rlk --cause the original i_id column to be
WHERE 1 = 0 --created without the IDENTITY property

SELECT rlk.* --CREATE #RSLAG_total table
INTO #RSLAG_total
FROM #RSLAG rlk
WHERE 1 = 0

Query to NoWhere

2008-09-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

In a three hundred line stored procedure (not bad) one developer noted that the performance issue came down to the corrolated sub-query. Upon inspection, this left-joined monster was not even referenced by any output column, where clause or reference.

What a FIND!

SELECT
a_bunch_of_stuff
FROM #RPT_ORDERS ot
LEFT JOIN (SELECT
Another_long_painful_query
FROM #RPTEXTRA toc
INNER JOIN A_BUNCH_OF_STUFF_TO_MAKE_IT_EVEN_SLOWER tm
WHERE toc.x = 400
GROUP BY toc.y
,tm.starts
) mt ON tmt.ord = mt.ord
AND tmt.starts = mt.starts
ORDER BY more_stuff

Code Blurg

2008-08-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

When you are not really sure what you want, you can try it in more than one place! At the worst you get an additional line of code for your metrics.

insert #DeleteSpots

Select os.Linked_ID, os.BID

from #olspot ols

join dbo.ORDERED os on os.bid = ols.bid

AND os.B_Position IN(0,1,3)

where os.Linked_ID is not null

and os.B_Position = 3

Resolution notes are required for all fixes

2008-07-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

This came from our crazed supervisor today ...

From now on, please make all resolution notes in Haiku form. By way of example:

Try it again please.
Whatever the problem was;
Works on my machine.

Why have all the commission rates gone?

2008-07-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

I liked this one. This is what happens when you start cutting and pasting code without looking at the end result real close.

In this situation, the developer was removing a variable that had a default value of zero. Guess they figured that the safest thing to do was to replace it with that number. There were a couple of places in this 460 line procedure to change. They must have checked the top half which was just fine, but the original designer had basically copied the first 200 lines and duplicated them in the second half - and he did not use the variable the same way. The maintenance developer did not check this second half which ended up as below.

Snippet:

SELECT
round(convert(money,sum(r.rate) * 0),2)
,0
,round(convert(money,sum((r.rate * 0) * isnull(r.ag_com_pct,0))),2)
,count(*)
FROM
Whatever

The French know the secret to destroying database performance!

2008-07-06T18:42:00.000-07:00

I saw this on GOOGLE VIDEOS and thought it was the funniest SQL performance technical explanation I had ever seen. His name is Stephane Faroult at RoughSea Ltd. It is also nice in that he turned the problem on its head and looked at the performance problem backwards. How to make it worse.

Who would have believed it

2008-07-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

I was reading Aristotle and thinking how I could create a software development paradigm based on his nicomachean ethics. Then I ran into an LA Times blog about these guys and their radio program. I think it terribly interesting to see where this show airs - plus its a lot of fun to listen to. All the past shows are available for download.

"This is not a lecture or a college course, it's philosophy in action! Philosophy Talk is a fun opportunity to explore issues of importance to your audience in a thoughtful, friendly fashion, where thinking is encouraged".

http://www.philosophytalk.org/

A Shortage of ees

2008-05-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

Well, now ush has really done it. Apparently gloal warming has een sighted in unexpected areas. Everody is talking aout the mysterious disappearance of ees. There are less and less of them and the ig question is why? I dont know why people get all worked up aout this kind of thing. Just get a new keyoard.

Origami

2008-03-11T16:37:00.000-07:00

Nate tells me that he used to go to an origami class before the school folded.

609.5

2008-02-23T10:10:00.000-08:00

From another conversation ...

"It reminds me of the handyman who caught a fish shaped like the letter L.

He, as it turns out, metacarple".

#604

2008-02-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

One of the 1.3 million returned results from a google search of PINK LEMONADE will get you this ...

http://digg.com/videos/comedy/Horrific_Projectile_Vomit_Ensues_After_Drinking_Mysterious_Lemonade

In the old days, a 20MB harddrives setup as a fileshare would get loaded up with junk after a couple of months. It would be horribly disorganized where you couldn't find anything. No one would clean it out because they were afraid they would lose something important. Someone would finally just get another drive. Then the same thing would happen again.

Now its just more people messing it up. More harddrives. The internet should have some standards set that we all have to adhere to before it fills up with porn and puke.

Less is more

2007-12-02T04:47:00.000-08:00

This is the story of a man named Jed
A poor programmer that had been hit in the head
Then one day he did a query for a home
Did a top one and ended in Oklahom (a)

Thing is, this guy correctly figured that for every address on a street, there was only one possible number. But there could be more than one person registered at a household and he really only wants one of them. So he does

SELECT TOP 1 FROM Adresses WHERE Street = @a and Address = @b

Thing he forgot about was that there might possibly be a 123 Main Street in more than one city. In a different state.
They're still digging themselves out of the huge data corruption that this created.

But but but

2007-12-02T04:41:00.000-08:00

Another SQL 2000 failure that seems to be OK anywhere else you try it.

-- Do something
GOGO
-- Do other stuff

Why that isn't an error in 2005 is a little curious

Wait a minute

2007-11-16T03:21:00.000-08:00

OK, Check this out. There are no errors in 2005 or 2008 even with that comma dangling off the end ...

CREATE TABLE [dbo].[AdvertiserSamCategory] (
[AdvertiserSAMID] [int] IDENTITY (1, 1) NOT NULL ,
[AdvertiserID] [INT] NOT NULL ,
[DomainLogin] [nvarchar] (50) COLLATE SQL_Latin1_General_CP1_CI_AS NOT NULL ,
[SamCategoryID] [INT] NOT NULL ,
) ON [PRIMARY]

Guess you really don't need that definition

Where am I

2007-11-12T01:49:00.001-08:00

Here is the Microsoft way to figure the version and servicepack levels

Declare @V varchar(10), @sp varchar(5), @ed varchar(32), @nm varchar(32)
SELECT @v=convert(varchar(10),SERVERPROPERTY('productversion'))
,@sp=convert(varchar(5),SERVERPROPERTY ('productlevel'))
,@ed=convert(varchar(32),SERVERPROPERTY ('edition'))
,@nm=convert(varchar(32),@@servername)
Print 'SERVER:' + @nm
Print 'Version ' + @v
Print 'Level ' + @sp
Print @ed

My local 2008 server for example produces the following:

SERVER:WEB-TESTMULE
Version 10.0.1049. <====Note the extra period! Level CTP Developer Edition

What's in a name?

2007-11-12T01:49:00.000-08:00

IN everything but SQL2000 this is not a problem. Seems in 2000, the tableName does not get
an automatic name reference, such that the use of tableName.xxx results in a syntax error.

You must alias the table name even if it is the same name.

SELECT tableName.Col FROM tableName tableName

What was that name again?

2007-11-12T01:45:00.000-08:00

In SQL 2005 this is OK

SELECT 1
FROM sysobjects (nolock) o
JOIN syscolumns (nolock) c ON o.id = c.id

But we build in SQL 2000 and it must be like this

SELECT 1
FROM sysobjects o (nolock)
JOIN syscolumns c (nolock) ON o.id = c.id

So unless you alias the table before the hint, you will get a syntax error in some cases.

Incorrect syntax near 'o'.

#27

2007-10-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

Misfits converge.

... think about it ...

GO speedracer GO

2007-10-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

PRINT 'Here is a test'
/*
Here is a place for a comment to
GO
*/

The commented GO statement within the /* */ still executes and as such will cause a syntax error. This is corrected in 2005 servers but you will have to watch out for it on current boxes.

Update August fifthe 2009
We got hit by this again so I did some further experiments. Turns out it is related to the OSQL/ISQLW/ISQL installed and not the server. You can run this same script from a machine with the 2005 tools installed and point to the 2000 server and there is no error.

Point is then, when you are testing for compatibility of your scripts, don't run it from the 2005 management studio. You will get a false positive.

Do AS I say

2007-09-12T01:43:00.000-07:00

Try this on a SQL 7 or 2000 box

DECLARE @Fred AS TABLE (ID INT)

and what you will get is a syntax error. Another oddity that works fine once you move to SQL 2005 but that little AS in the declaration is a syntax error anywhere else. Seems most people do not run into this little gem because the AS is not required, and why would you type it if its not needed? That would be like using a LET assignment keyword :(

Where are you going with that?

2007-08-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

This is the where clause I found when fixing a procedure one day...

FROM Rotation SR LEFT JOIN Break_Type BT ON BT.BT_ID = SR.BT_ID,
(select bandklocka, sp_id from Spot) S,
spot cg
where sr.rotationid = @CopyGroupRef
and sr.rotationid = cg.bandklocka
and s.bandklocka = sr.spotid
and sr.spotid = s.bandklocka
ORDER BY SR.STARTDATE

Now you may not know what a Bandklocka is, but I bet you can see what is off with its usage here.