Resolution notes are required for all fixes

This came from our crazed supervisor today ...

From now on, please make all resolution notes in Haiku form. By way of example:

Try it again please.
Whatever the problem was;
Works on my machine.

Why have all the commission rates gone?

I liked this one. This is what happens when you start cutting and pasting code without looking at the end result real close.

In this situation, the developer was removing a variable that had a default value of zero. Guess they figured that the safest thing to do was to replace it with that number. There were a couple of places in this 460 line procedure to change. They must have checked the top half which was just fine, but the original designer had basically copied the first 200 lines and duplicated them in the second half - and he did not use the variable the same way. The maintenance developer did not check this second half which ended up as below.

Snippet:

SELECT
round(convert(money,sum(r.rate) * 0),2)
,0
,round(convert(money,sum((r.rate * 0) * isnull(r.ag_com_pct,0))),2)
,count(*)
FROM
Whatever

The French know the secret to destroying database performance!

I saw this on GOOGLE VIDEOS and thought it was the funniest SQL performance technical explanation I had ever seen. His name is Stephane Faroult at RoughSea Ltd. It is also nice in that he turned the problem on its head and looked at the performance problem backwards. How to make it worse.

Who would have believed it

I was reading Aristotle and thinking how I could create a software development paradigm based on his nicomachean ethics. Then I ran into an LA Times blog about these guys and their radio program. I think it terribly interesting to see where this show airs - plus its a lot of fun to listen to. All the past shows are available for download.

"This is not a lecture or a college course, it's philosophy in action! Philosophy Talk is a fun opportunity to explore issues of importance to your audience in a thoughtful, friendly fashion, where thinking is encouraged".

http://www.philosophytalk.org/